“I saw a man traced by misery.
He walked up and down through the sidewalk
looking for cigarette butts.
He took one, turned it on, inhaled it and threw it away.
Continuosly. All time long.
Like an obsessed.
He sought for satisfaction of that inexplicable desire he felt inside.
He was looking for the shimmer in the darkness.
Puff after puff, gazing at nothing.
Only those continuous movements: GRAB – LIGHTEN – BREATHE IN – BREATHE OUT.
On and on.
So much fuel in the lighter and so few hits left of that perfect drug.
He had anything else left. Only that gas to be consumed.
Yet it was never enough.
Maybe he had lost everything.
Maybe he had no one to come back to.
Maybe that someone was dead.
And somehow that brown diamond relieved the weight he was carrying on the wrinkles of ageing.”
Once a brave old man told me that keeping diaries is not something for everyone.
I've been keeping diaries not just to prove my existence, but also to
remind myself that I'm a human being, after all.
That I am part of some mysterious “stream of consciousness” which
keeps me alive.
Now that old man is nothing more than ashes.
But it's his memory who allows him to be alive.
To my grandfather,
“May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face.
And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.”
-Blow.
Discuss the reasons why people use Ayahuasca.
Ayahuasca is one of the most powerful psychedelic drugs widely used in South America for spiritual purposes.
In 2009, Peru's government recognized Ayahuasca's status, stating that it was “one of the basic pillars of the identity of the Amazon people's”. However, not only Amazon people use it. For example, it became very common through western society interests, which every year counts more and more travellers towards South America willing to experience a deeper trip into their subconscious.
This essay will discuss the reason why people like to live this experience.
Its composition, obtained by mixing leaves and vines of 2 different plants, contains a neurotransmitter called DMT (dimethyltryptamine) similar to serotonin, which gives people the sense of happiness. DMT is also contained in the human brain and is produced during the REM phase of dreams.
This is one of the main reasons why Ayahuasca became so popular in western society. DMT induces a trance state – as in sleep phase – in which the past emotions of the person come up and the traumatic experiences surface in a way to face them, leaving a feeling of “peace of mind” obtained by solving these fears.
Indeed, most of the people who travel to Peru want to confront themselves with the deepest part of their subconscious or to seek a miracle cure for their addictions, depression and family problems.
Another reason is that many other people are fascinated by Ayahuasca spiritual and medical purposes.
Indeed, an experienced person usually called “the shaman” is leading the whole ritual preparing the mixture to drink and guiding the person through the entire process, giving medical help if needed. Besides the “guide” role, shamans also use Ayahuasca to fall in trance, which allows them to understand the spiritual illness of the patient.
It induces the person who drinks it in a psychedelic state of mind that enables him or her to look closely to problems.
For these reasons, many scientists confirmed Ayahuasca could be used to cure depression or other behavioural disorders. By studying its mixture of leaves and vines they have also found out that its natural composition doesn't give any addiction.
In conclusion, people use Ayahuasca for many reasons. For some people, it represents a miracle medicine, and for others, it's more spiritually connected to them.
With its good medical purposes, it would probably be used in the future for other illness researchers to reduce the issues caused by them.
“So why is it so difficult?” – the doctor said.
I replied: “well, it id like thinking the same thing all over again till the very next second you'll forget it and start over with a new thought which seems to be brilliant the same way.
let me tell you the story of my old friend, Becca.
She was one of my best friends when I was a teenager.
She was a rebel. Her hair straight black, short to the shoulders, straight fringe right on top of the eyebrows, green strong eyes, slim pink lips and very curved body. She looked like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, drugs included. Now she was at that time no one. all of a sudden, a couple of years later, she becomes someone. And she takes advantage of the notoriety she gained over the years. She finally has the job of her dreams, the love of her life, a solid social life.
Becca she wakes up every morning, she opens her eyes and she fights even if she has already reached the top. She keeps fighting with every muscle of her body because she demands to be the one. So every day, she sits at the desk of her room, she opens her red agenda and checks for the appointments for the day.
She brings the rolled cigarette at her mouth and start thinking about it and only stops at the end of the day. That's what she's alive for. that's what she's finally qualified for. That's all she has to do for the rest of her life. Such a sweet ending. So clear. Needle after needle, all she has to do is to screw some jewellery on someone's body. A bit butchery and Halloween-theme-queen-blood-here-and-there but hell, if it works for her!
Now Doc, to answer your question: “so why is it so difficult?”, I can only tell you what I do and perhaps it'll clear your mind.
I do an exercise; I close my eyes, I breathe in (they say it's really important) and then I breathe out. As soon as my breath stops I open my eyes and there I am fighting my will muscle after muscle, sat at the same desk, opening my red agenda. Now every time I do this exercise something must go wrong. It must be. Because instead of having that something, that special unique thing or skill, my brain starts playing bungee jumping in the world of hobbies and possible jobs. So there's the version of me who desperately wants to model, the one who wants to become a writer, the travel blogger, the beauty therapist, the singer, the one who wants to learn a new impossible language, for God's sake.
Bear in mind, they're no easy things, They all must be so incredibly unique and challenging.
There's too much of me and what I want to become in all of those things that sometimes is just too hard to focus on one thing and get it done. It's too much, it's heavy. When I start one of those things, so let's say I start getting focused on my singing skills, after a while, a bird starts whistling at my ear, suggesting it's about time I should practice Russian or write a novel. So I close my agenda, leaving all my good purposes of a productive day behind and come back to the astonishing view outside my window. I've never felt so alive though. So true, so flesh and bones. Inner peace is something spiritual, something I do not get to experience. You see Doc, there's a chemical difference. It's like having a running hamster inside your brain constantly. It never stops. It never stops thinking about what could be next. Such a shame any of those things have never been accomplished. That is the difficulty, that is the limit.”
-On ADHD.